


Come Home To Me

by Mu2



Series: Mu's Genderbenders [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Green Lantern - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, F/M, Family Feels, Female Bruce Wayne, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Rating went up due to future chapter, We Die Like Men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:14:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22232359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mu2/pseuds/Mu2
Summary: Bruce gets hijinxed and now Hal has to deal with a female Bruce Wayne.Who doesn't know how attractive she is... or does she?
Relationships: Hal Jordan/Bruce Wayne
Series: Mu's Genderbenders [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1467079
Comments: 11
Kudos: 134





	1. The Setup

There was no way that Bruce didn’t know what he, she, looked like. As the rest of the trusted few Justice League members in the Bat Cave stared at the now female Batman out of her suit, Hal Jordan reminisced on the good old days. The days when he could stare at Spooky and not have everyone know he was half in love with the man. Now that he was a woman it would be more noticeable.

“This changes nothing about how we operate. Yes, it will take some time to locate the magic user who did this, but as it stands no one can know that the Batman was hit by the spell. Oracle and I will handle the background ops and Nightwing has already agreed to take on Batman for the time being. Now, will you all stop staring, it’s not that big of a change.”

Or maybe not. If Bruce didn’t know how he went from killer beauty as a male to drop dead gorgeous as a female Hal wasn’t going to point it out. Ever. He would die before he admitted his small crush on the Bat. Not that he had one.

“Bruce, this does change a few things.” Leave it up to Big Blue to implore with the icy Bat. “We’ll still be down a member somewhere, be it Batman on the JL or Nightwing in the Titans.” As he said it the Kryptonian stepped closer to Bruce and placed his hand on her shoulder. “We need to think this through a bit more, plan for if the magic user can’t reverse the spell.”

“Of course, he will reverse it,” The Bat Demon spoke up. “If he doesn’t know how we will provide incentive.” A not so subtle touch to the katana Robin carried.

“In the past month in Gotham four individuals have been hit by the same spell and all reverted back to their original state within the month. Bruce Wayne will be revealed to have been hit, the press will have a field day, and then within the month when I revert things will be as per normal. Clark, we have thought it through, hunting the magic user is only to see if the timetable can be moved up.” Bruce moved away, toward the brightly lit monitors, Clark’s hand fell to his side.

“Lantern, we’ll need your assistance this week if you’re willing.” That blue stare was levelled on Hal. “Red Hood came across some extra-terrestrial material in his last patrol, we we’re wondering if you could analyse it.”

“What happens if I’m not willing Spooky?” With a saunter Hal walked to the stern woman and the monitor, ring already out for the analysis. “What would you do then?”

Perhaps the flirting was a bad idea, Hal thought for a second, given the proclivity of the male Bruce Wayne, the female one may be more deadly than her predecessor. 

“Well Jordan,” A hand on Hal’s bicep, sliding down his arm as she leaned in toward his ear. “I could always just _take it_ from you.” Then Hal was flat on his arse, ring in Bruce’s hand and ego thoroughly squashed beneath her boot. 

Bruce looked down on Hal with that raised eyebrow, “You weren’t concentrating.” She dropped the ring back in Hal’s now outstretched hand.

Hal stood, using the table for the monitors as a prop for his hip. “Of course, I was gorgeous, just not on you. According to the scan this comes from the Iridian quadrant. Used for the crop sector on Delor. Delorians have a large agricultural trade, the tech was most likely picked up by someone trying to grow their stash, or we’ve got a runaway buying their way onto Earth. Either way Hood and I should do a check up on where he got this.” 

There it was, the quirk of a smile and her entire attention. It wasn’t necessarily more powerful than when she was a he, but boy was it a rush to see it on her face now.

“Good. Red Hood is on patrol tonight and could use a partner. Contact him and set up your rendezvous. Nightwing will be out with Robin as Batman. Red Robin, Spoiler and Batwoman will all be out as well. Oracle and I will be on monitor duty and keep our eyes out.” And then, the JL was dismissed and Hal welcomed into the Bat family for the night.


	2. Mission Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal hangs with the kids :)

Meeting the Red Hood properly was an experience for Hal Jordan. He could guarantee that he had never met anyone with a proclivity for profanity quite like the Red Hood, even given his years in the Air Force. 

As a previous military man Hal prided himself on his profanities, so it was no surprise that he soaked up everything that the Red Hood said like a sponge. A sponge that when squeezed out aimed directly at the man who raised the Red Hood. Much to the Red Hood’s obvious delight.

“So, what did his face look like when you said it?” The glee in the young man’s voice was palpable as they made their way to the third hideout that they’d tracked down this week. “I bet he did the thing where he screwed up his mouth like he was going to say something then stopped. That’s my favourite. You can visibly see him chant in his head ‘My temper does not rule me, I rule my temper’. Boy do I wish I got to see that.”

“Kid Spooky somehow gives less away now than before.” Hal dropped down to look in the window of the hideout. Empty. Just like the other two. Someone was giving tips to the mob and that was not a good sign. “But yes, Spooky did pull that face. It was a masterpiece.”

“You know GL, you’re not half bad. I’d say you even give me a run for my money in pissing off the old man.”

“Aw shucks kid, you’re gonna make me blush.”

“No I’m not. Big B’s outfit yesterday when he bent over sure did though.”

Hal turned to the kid, face the picture of betrayal. “What? No. You weren’t even there for dinner!” Something at the back of Hal’s mind told him that he may be protesting too much.

Red Hood’s voice rang with joy, “Nah I wasn’t, Goldie was though. Told me all about B bending over to pass the salt, and when you spilt your plate over your lap a second later.”  
It was a coincidence. Nothing to do with Bruce at all. So what if Spooky wore a beautiful black velveteen dress that hugged every curve of her body. Wasn’t like Hal had taken notice. Not at all.

“Anyways, it’s been a week now and we haven’t found the fuckers who had the alien tech. We’re not getting anywhere without B’s or Oracle’s help. As much as it pains me to say this, we need their help.” A slap on Hal’s shoulder, “Therefore I nominate you to suck ass to the big boss and ask for us. Thanks GL!” One zipline and the Bat was off further into Gotham.  
Dammit.

***

Nightwing, the original Robin he had learned, was much more pleasant company usually. Unless you’d accidentally revealed you’re not crush on his mentor the night before. Then he was a downright nightmare of Joker proportions. The past twenty-four hours had been hell for Hal, avoiding the gymnast in his own house and turf was extremely difficult. What made it more difficult was that he managed to drag Bruce along with him whenever he found Hal in the giant manor. 

“How many times do I have to tell you Hal, it’s Dick when we’re out of uniform.”

“Yeah I know you’re a Dick out of uniform Wing, just didn’t need a hands-on instruction.” He was proud of that come back. 

“No codenames in the manor out of uniform Jordan. Alfred set the rules and you’ll abide by them too under this roof.” Not so proud of that comeback after being caught by Bruce.  
“What about nicknames Drac, do they count?”

“Nicknames do not count, but I would appreciate a limit on them.” There was no questioning it, her face softened just then. Bruce’s perfect face softened looking at Hal with her son.

“You got it True Blood. Now come on you Pretzel, I’ve got a bone to pick with you over C.O.D.” 

The past week with Red Hood, Jason, showed Hal one side of the Bat family dynamic. His time with Dick showed him another, more horrifying side.

Hal’s time with Dick showed him what being old felt like and he did not enjoy it. Dick could eat cereal, the sugar ones that melted your teeth, any time of the day with no repercussions. Could sleep at any time and be ready to bounce into a cartwheel as soon as he woke up. The most horrifying thing of all that Dick had showed him was that Hal sucked at video games.

Even calling them video games made him sound old, “Geez Hal, they’re just PS4 games, or even just games. Whoever puts ‘video’ in front of games just sounds like a Boomer Hal.”

“And that’s bad?”

“It’s a sin Hal. If anyone ever says ‘Okay Boomer’ to you, you need to tell us. It’s an insult to you and an insult to our family.”

One week in and Dick Grayson, the Golden son of Bruce Wayne, the hero everyone held up as the paragon of heroism, was calling him family. It was also obvious which ‘family’ he was talking about. Not the hero community, but the Bats.

Hal didn’t know what to do with that information.

“Please include Damian and Tim if you’re going to be playing games Dick,” See, even Bruce Wayne sounded younger than him. “Both of them could use a night off. Hal, tomorrow I’ll go over what I found out about the group with the alien tech.”

Hal hadn’t asked Bruce yet to help.

***

Baby Bat and Baby Detective, as Hal called them, jumped on the opportunity to sit down and shoot at people online. More specifically at Hal, as he had yet to figure out all the controls.  
After what was possibly the twentieth death Hal was sent out for food from the kitchens. He closed Dick’s door to screams of “I shall rain hell down upon you Drake!” and “Suck it Baby Bat, another one bites the dust!”

The Robins of Batman truly were the epitome of stealth and charisma. Except when you put them all in a room together. Then they were just kids fighting for their fathers (mothers?) approval.

“I see you have been sent to collect your field rations.” Bruce held one of her signature protein smoothies. It appeared that she’d been working out if the sweatpants and sporting attire were anything to go on.

“Yup. The standard rations of frozen pizza and some ice cream. Care to join me on my mission?” He avoided looking at her. The ample skin now available to his eyes. Criss crossed and mottled with scars, but so soft looking.

She hummed, considering, “Not tonight I am afraid. My pervious mission has worked quite the sweat and I need a shower. A nice long hot one.”

Hot shower… with Bruce in it…

“Try and not let the boys keep you up too late. Tim especially. I’d be very appreciative if you could get them to bed in the next three hours. Who knows, there may even be a prize at the end if you manage it.” The soft look was back, Hal wanted to keep it there forever.

“What, one of those nice long hot showers?” Hal joked, trying to keep things light.

“Maybe.” Having the last word Bruce sauntered out of the kitchen, leaving Hal breathless.

Loaded with his cargo Hal ran over how he could get the boys to sleep as soon as possible. He was getting a nice long hot shower whatever it took.


	3. So no Bruce? *cue broken skateboard*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal gets the shakedown of a lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update, so there's no Bruce this time. I promise the next chapter she shall appear in all her brooding glory!

Not his proudest moment but he’s gotten them all to sleep within Bruce’s time limit. 

Granted, they were all asleep in the same bed since Hal had to move quickly to get them all out in time, but he was sure it would count. 

A week with the Bats and he’s learned what he called the ‘Vulcan salute’ where you nerve pinched someone’s neck and they were out like a light. And given how fast the Bats were Hal really had to do the three of them at once rather than one at a time. He’d nabbed the two Baby’s himself and used his ring for Dick. 

Knowing the Bat’s penchant for asking for evidence Hal snapped a quick photo of the sleeping young men and closed the door to Dick’s room quietly.

That’s when it hit him; exactly what he’d done. Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern, one of the strongest willed beings in the universe, had nerve pinched three boys for their mentor/parent’s convenience. All because Bruce had smiled and flirted with him a little.

Holy Batman, Batman had him wrapped around his little finger. What made it worse was that she knew it too. Damn.

He quickly sent the photo of the boys to Bruce in a message and all but sped to his room. 

Tonight, he was just going to go to sleep and tomorrow would deal with the consequences.

***

“You are the first to succeed, Jordan, in incapacitating myself, Grayson and Drake.” Hal was informed by Damian the next morning, in between Damian munching on his waffles. “Father has attempted this before with others such as the Alien but has never succeeded. I commend you, but be warned, it will not happen again.” This was punctuated with a vicious stab to a waffle.

“Noted Baby Bat. Now hand over the syrup please? Stop being such a hog.” He hoped that this would put an end to the conversation.

Tim appeared to have different thoughts on that, “Did Bruce get to you in the kitchens? Before you went for food you seemed ready to stay up with us.”

“That’s right Timbo, Hal was fine until he went to get the food. So, Bruce cornered you and threatened that if we stayed up, she’d make life hell?” Dick intervened.

“Not quite kiddo.” Hal slapped Dick’s hand away from his waffles. “She just asked and recommended that you’d all work better with some more sleep in you.”

“Ah, she reasoned with you.” Damian tutted, “How unfortunate. I take you will not be bribed on the contrary then?” Hal shook his head. “Then we shall have to be extra vigilant in our nightly adventures. Drake, Grayson, we shall not let this occur a second time.”

The other two nodded in solemn unison. They appeared to be preparing themselves for a particularly hard heist or fight, not just trying to stay awake past their bed time. Holy Batman they had a bedtime and Bruce was trying to enforce it. Through Hal. Hal needed more waffles before he entertained this thought.

***

“Master Jordan if you would please be so kind as to not clutter my kitchen, I would be most obliged.” Came the droll tone from Alfred behind Hal. As Hal’s back was currently to the butler as he washed the breakfast plates and bowls at the sink.

So far Alfred hadn’t seen what he was doing.

“Don’t worry Alfred I’ll be out of your kitchens in a flash.” He coupled the words with a wink over his shoulder.

“May I inquire as to why you are in them in the first place?” Oh no, Alfred was moving closer, and if Hal wasn’t careful, he was going to be banned from the kitchens until kingdom come.  
He only had Tim’s and Dick’s mugs left to wash up. “You know, only place in the house to get some peace and quiet sometimes.” This was a lie, there was no where in the house to be alone properly, not even the bathroom. Dick had seen to that last time.

Now only Dick’s mug was left. “Well Master Jordan I would suggest you use the second media room for peace. The boys have decided to converge in the first media room and as such you would be left alone in the second.”

Done, he’d finished. Yanking the plug out from the bottom and quickly discarding the gloves he’d worn Hal threw a sunny smile at the butler, “I’ll just go and do that now. Although, Bruce mentioned running over some diagnostics yesterday with me, maybe I’ll pop in on her.” Time for a quick getaway.

“Master Bruce is away at work with Master Timothy.” Or not. 

“Really? Too bad. Maybe I should—”

“Master Jordan, I do believe that as I am the butler of the estate that I should oversee job allocations. As such I do know that you have not been allocated any outside of your duties to the League. So, I ask this in the strictest confidence that my words shall be heeded, please refrain from doing any further household jobs unless completely necessary.”

“It was—”

“In this case I shall consider it a first offense. Please do not make a habit of it.”

‘Right, of course. I’ll just be going then.”

“See to it, Master Jordan.”


End file.
